Carrie Bartkowiak v. 5.0

Last night I was certain the LOST coffin held the body of John Locke.
Screenshots of the newspaper clearly showed “The body of Jo..”, which I thought was John. Also, prior to his sideways trip to the island, John lived in Los Angeles (remember when he inspected the house for Nadia, Sayid’s girlfriend, and how the FBI/CIA/Whomever told Sayid she was now living in LA). That John would hang himself after getting back to “civilization” made sense, because he has really become the man he’s always wanted to be on the island. He doesn’t believe he should leave, doesn’t want to, and certainly would kill himself if he were forced off of the island and couldn’t get back.

Here’s what changed my mind…
Take a look at this transcription of the newspaper story:
http://losteastereggs.blogspot.com/2007/05/newspaper-through-looking-glass.html

The fact that the last name is “Lantham” is no big deal. Folks can change their name once they’re off the island - and I highly suspect that Kate has changed her name (probably Sawyer as well).

The thing that changed my mind was the last line - he’s survived by a teenage son.
John Locke has no children.

Who do we know that has a son that’s the age where he’d be a teenager 3 years after the island? Who do we know that used to live in New York?
Michael.

That would also explain why the funeral was being held in a black neighborhood. Many of the fansites are making a big fuss about the “black neighborhood” deal. I found it amusing that the funeral parlor’s name is an anagram for “flash forward”, and didn’t really care about the type of neighborhood the viewing was being held in; other than it seemed to be a lower-class neighborhood. (Further lending credit to my thoughts of it being John; desolate and paralyzed again after returning, with no real means of an income nor a desire to even have an income.)

But there’s no sensible reason (although since when has LOST been sensible) that Michael would change his name. He’s not a fugitive. Sure, he killed people on the island, but it’s not like anyone is gonna go running to the authorities and turn each other in once they get rescued. Hell, at this point, they’d almost all be thrown in jail for something they’ve done on the island.

So do I think it’s Michael?
Not really.
At this point Michael’s the only person that we know now that makes sense. But there’s still 3 seasons coming, and it could be someone we haven’t met yet. (Someone who also seems to be kinda short, judging by the size of the coffin.)

I’m still hoping that this is just a possible future, and will be until February. Argh.

What do you think? I wanna know! Please leave a comment :)
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The season finale of LOST was last night. *big sigh*

If you Tivo’d it and haven’t watched it yet, click away now.
Come back after you’ve seen it.

Okay, everyone who did watch it, let’s get down to it.

 Update: I’ve changed my mind about John being in the coffin. Click here for my new thoughts.

 The flash-forward to the future that we saw tells us that John Locke died alone and off of the island. No one attended his funeral; only Jack showed up in the hopes that Kate would as well. How sad. I’m wondering if they forced John to leave the island in some way. Maybe he was unconscious. Whatever it was, it was the death of him.

Kate isn’t with Jack, but she is with someone. My guess is Sawyer. The secretive way that Jack met up with her has me thinking that Kate is still on the run. She wasn’t pregnant though, which is curious. Is she not pregnant now, or in the future, had she had the baby already?

Things that were nice to see - Danielle and Alex finally meeting, Ben finally getting the shit beat out of him (although I feel in this particular case he didn’t deserve it, as he knows something no one else does and they really shouldn’t have made that call; but he does deserve it for all of his past actions), Penny knowing for certain that Desmond is alive and on the island, Hurley running down Ryan in the Dharma van and saving the day, Jack finally telling Kate that he loves her, and seeing John up and walking - albeit in a serious amount of pain and suffering.

Charlie could’ve gotten out of that room in time, and sealed the air lock from the other side of the door. He could’ve waited for the room to fill up past the porthole (equalizing the pressure) and then swam out of it, under the station, and back up through the submarine pool. He didn’t have to die, although I suppose he thought that he did in order to ensure that Claire and Aaron got off of the island. It was sad, but in a noble way - I didn’t even cry. Just sighed.

I did a lot of sighing last night.
Hubby continues to remind me the lesson we learned from the finale of Heroes - that the future isn’t set in stone. Perhaps the gut-wrenching mess of a life that Jack has off of the island doesn’t have to be the future. Perhaps John doesn’t have to die. Maybe they will have a happy ending.

And that’s all I want, in the end. For everyone to have their own happy ending. If that means that John stays on the island because he wants to, so be it. If that means that Bernard and Rose stay there too because of her cancer, so be it. If that means our Losties get split up in the end and some leave while some stay, so be it - as long as it’s their own choice.

And now we’re the ones who are lost, for 8 months while we wait for the show’s return. I hate that. But at least I’ll have Harry Potter this summer, and Halo this fall, to keep me occupied.

*sigh*

What do you think? I wanna know! Please leave a comment :)
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I am not a puritan by any means, but when I think of Carrie Underwood, I think of everything that’s sweet, nice, god-fearing, and wholesome.  The past few times I’ve been in the grocery store it has really, REALLY bugged me to see her on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine, due to the text they associated with her image.

 Did the editors even know who they interviewed and put on the cover? Do they even realize that this girl’s first hit record was titled “Jesus Take The Wheel”? Are they just completely brainless?

I vote for the latter choice.

Now don’t get me wrong; I’m a firm believer in couples having fun and even learning more so that they can have that fun… but to associate this stuff with Carrie Underwood? To have her as the cover girl for your “Sexpose” issue? Hello?

“How To Climax Together”. “Sexpose.” “10 Things Guys Crave In Bed.” “Read His Dirty Mind.”

Oh, and how about this one to go with the media’s sweetest and most wholesome starlet to hit the scene in years: “9 Times You Won’t Burn In Hell for Being Bitchy.”

They must have just been ticked off that she didn’t turn out to be like their normal star interviews - full of dirt and ready to wear incredibly revealing clothing for the photo shoot. The interviewer even notes in her article that Carrie was “sitting on the edge of a squishy sofa, legs crossed in ladylike fashion, hands clasped on her knee.” The horror! How un-Cosmo-girl of her!

I think Carrie needs to demand a recall of the magazine. I know, it’ll never happen, and it would damage her reputation and make her out to be a diva prude - but really. Is this the kind of magazine cover she’d want to show to her dear grandpa?

Cosmo needs to find a sense of reality somewhere in that big building they occupy - because they certainly aren’t connecting with anyone other than Sex In The City Manhattanites.  There is a great big world out here, and not all of us enjoy watching our favorite celebrities covered in smut.

What do you think? I wanna know! Please leave a comment :)
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