Not Christian Enough
Every day I visit a few blogs that I would find it hard to live without, and numerous times during the week I venture out and try to give encouragement to other bloggers I’m not so familiar with but who’ve joined in on one of the blogging carnivals I participate in.
Sometimes I’m overwhelmed by the fact that the majority of the bloggers in all of my carnivals are devoutly christian women. Not “casual” christians, but very VERY devout women. There’s a full range of them; from the sweet graceful women who thank God for little things and turn to Him in times of need, to the ones who have biblical quotes about how filthy and sinful we are in their blog’s headers and even ticking, counting tolls of how many souls have gone to Hell just in the time I’ve had their blog page loaded. Their commenters are mostly christian also, ranging from a simple “I’m praying for you” to saying that this week’s shooting at Virginia Tech happened because God is persecuting us all for being so sinful; that the shooter’s hand was actually God’s hand striking down the children at Virginia Tech, rather than the concious choice of one man to carry out something so heinous.
Sometimes it’s intimidating, because there are some things I’d like to join in on but I really feel like I’m not Christian enough. Like tonight, I found two memes about being thankful: Thankful Thursdays and One Thousand Gifts. I’ve been wanting to start putting things that I’m thankful for every day onto my blog and have been looking for a way to do it that wouldn’t bore my readers to death. (I don’t have many, but would like to keep the ones I have!) Looking around those two beautiful blogs and seeing all of the quoted Scripture, the general feel of the blog… I just get the feeling that they wouldn’t want me around. Because I’m not Christian enough.
I had a friend once who believed that all people were Christians; it’s just that some were what she called “Pre-Christian”. Christian in their hearts but not yet saved. It was a sweet sentiment. Whenever I see someone online blaming pagans for all of the world’s ills and just generally going down that “pagan/Wiccan=evil satanist” path (which is a misnomer; Wiccans don’t believe in Hell or the Devil so they cannot therefore be satanists), I think back to my old friend and her attitude of loving everyone and just seeing all people as God’s children. It makes me feel a little better.
You see, I do consider myself to be a pagan. I completely embrace the Wiccan crede, “an if it harm noone, do as thou wilt”. I have a Wiccan name (Raven), and my husband and I were married in a Wiccan ceremony by a High Priestess. However, I also consider myself to be Christian. My husband and I call it “Chriccan”, this multi-religious place that we find ourselves in. If hard-pressed or challenged though, I just say I’m Wiccan and deal with the recoil and judgement. It’s a lot quicker than trying to explain that I believe in God, I believe in the Ten Commandments, I believe God is all around us and in us and through us and every living thing, and that if you were to sum up the Ten Commandments into one sentence it would be the Wiccan crede… and then at the end have the person recoil and judge me because I mentioned the word Wiccan. I’ve had people literally step off of my front porch and make the sign of the cross, looking at me as if they expected me to turn green and instantly grow warts, just because I said “I’m Wiccan”.
I’ve delved into many different religions, even going so far as to take a Buddhism & Hinduism class in college, and what I’ve come to find is that at the base of all religions, one basic truth stands out: as long as you are causing no one harm, live your life to the fullest, thankful that God (Allah, Buddha, whatever name you choose to call God) has given you this gift of life. Taken at first glance that seems superficial, but if you think about all of the ways that one could cause “harm” to another, there are a myriad of them. Physical, emotional, mental, financial, relational, spiritual - the list goes on. Don’t take it at first glance; think deeply about it. The simple sentence of “an if it harm noone, do as thou wilt” goes as deep as you’re willing to take it; if you can knock down the walls within yourself and confront the dark places lurking in your heart. All of the Ten Commandments spelled out, each of them, say basically that: don’t do harm to another.
For me, spirituality and a relationship with God can’t be found in a book. It can’t be found by listening to one man’s interpretation, no matter how fancy or simple the podium is that he’s standing at. All of the different interpretations of the Bible by the different branches of Christianity, by the different “leaders” of Christianity, even by the writers of the Bible themselves - they just confuse the issue, muddy it up. There are contradictions within the Bible itself, between the different authors of the different “books”. Look at Catholics, Baptists, Lutherans - get them together and they’d literally argue about hundreds of “meanings” of what other Men wrote in the Bible. Pope John Paul said that homosexuality was a sin, yet Pope Benedict is considering saying it’s okay. It used to be that women couldn’t be Priests or ministers “because God said so” (where in the Ten Commandments is that?), yet now you’ll find female ministers, reverends, preachers and priests everywhere. (I know a lifelong lesbian in Florida who is in a long-term relationship with another woman and who is also a nun. Yes, a real-life, title-given-by-the-church [knowing she is lesbian] nun. Twenty, even ten years ago she was shunned by her Catholic church, now they give her the title of Nun. How is that? If something is Truth, then it cannot simply change because a different Man has taken up the robes of the faith and declared it to be different. What God meant is what God meant. The Catholics used to excommunicate women who were divorced, even if they did it out of the safety of themselves and their family due to abuse; yet now they embrace divorcees. Why is it that a prior “Truth” is suddenly okay? The only answer I can find is that somewhere along the line, a Man made up these rules, and somewhere further along the line, another Man revoked them. God himself, I believe, would have nothing to say on the subject. A mother’s job is to raise up and protect her children. If that means leaving an abusive husband, so be it. She is protecting God’s children (which includes herself!) from the free will of a Man who chooses to do Harm.
By this time I’ve probably chased away half of my readers; I hope that’s not the case.
It’s just that when I see these devoutly -and sometimes radically- Christian blogs, I feel like an outsider. I delight in seeing these women expressing their faith, I love watching them glow with it. It is beautiful. But I constantly find myself over on that line of “fringe”, for many different things (such as homeschooling, or homebirthing, or even breastfeeding), and my spirituality is one of them. It’s a lonely place to be, sometimes.
I guess for now I’ll just do a sideblog whenever the urge to be thankful for something hits me, and know in my heart that God *knows* me. All of my quirks, my faults, my weaknesses, and even my multi-religious belief that we’re all praying to the same God no matter what name we give him, and at the core of it all He just wants us to be the best people that we can be. I might be unable to express my spirituality properly in words, but I feel it in my heart; and if it’s there, then He feels it, too. I know he understands me; and after all, that’s all that matters.
What do you think? I wanna know! Please leave a comment :)
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Deborah said,
Wrote on April 19, 2007 @ 7:20 am
What a great post Carrie! I feel the same way. I’m Catholic, but to some of the fundamental protestants I might as well be a satanist! LOL! I got an email from some woman who told me I was going to hell promoting “unclean” recipes, that God wanted us all to be vegetarian like they were in Eden. F&#* me! How could I have missed that one! I guess that’s why Jesus was vegetarian right? Oh wait… sorry… it just gets me going. Don’t go saying your a Christian and lead by example and then go making ridiculous judgements about people you don’t even know based on a book written thousands of years ago that you are taking literally! Run on sentence anyone? *SIGH* Anyhoo… you’re not alone… Cyberhug!!!
Deborah said,
Wrote on April 19, 2007 @ 7:21 am
Really need to spell/puntuation check before hitting submit! Sorry!
Mimi Rothschild said,
Wrote on April 19, 2007 @ 9:09 am
Ugh, what a shame.
Although I don’t necessarily agree with your unitarian beliefs, I have to admit your idea of the character of God is more “on the mark” than many of my fellow Christians.
Jesus made it clear that “No man comes to the Father except through me.” In this simple statement lies the Achille’s heel of unitarianism.
Thoughts?
I have to say I’m fascinated and thrilled with the diversity that I’m seeing in the homeschooling world these days (as reflected by the presence of your blog). Glad that others are seeing the benefits of home education.
Frankie said,
Wrote on April 19, 2007 @ 10:25 pm
As a Christian who is not Christian enough, I really agreed with your post.
I’ve always believed religion was based on geography. Where you’re born largely determines what your faith will be. So I’ve always thought that they’re all correct. They sure all have many similiarities in their basic beliefs.
I have a hard time with some of the more devout blogs. I don’t delight in it, it makes me run the other way. But then I’m a quiet soul when it comes to religion, thinking it’s my business and because I’m very modest and private in real life, I just don’t want to share that in the blog world. ?? I should try to be more open minded. That doesn’t mean I don’t read Christian bloggers, I do — it’s just the ones that are over the top that make me run.
Carrie said,
Wrote on April 20, 2007 @ 7:10 pm
Mimi,
“Jesus made it clear that “No man comes to the Father except through me.†In this simple statement lies the Achille’s heel of unitarianism.
Thoughts?”
My thoughts on this one statement are that it is often taken out of context. Just after Jesus says that, he says “If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; from now on you know Him, and have seen him.”
Then a bit later (John 14:19) Jesus says “After a little while the world will behold Me no more; but you behold Me. Because I live, you shall live also.
“In that day you shall know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you.”
Any interpretation I might give on this would be just as subjective as the next person’s interpretation, and *I* think the achilles heel of any religion is the many interpretations. (With ‘taking out of context’ being second in line.)
That being said, *my* interpretation is that Jesus is saying here that even though we may not see him (behold him), he is with us, because he is within us. And he repeats that he is in us (and God as well). He says this many times. So one could argue that we are already “through” him, as he is “through” (within) us.
I also think that when Jesus said “through me” he meant through the works and deeds that he was here on Earth doing for us and our salvation.
Consider this: if Nelson Mandella had said to the people of South Africa “through me you shall have freedom”, would he have literally meant that you had to *know* him, or hold his hand, or worship him, in order to have freedom? No, he would have meant through his deeds and acts (suffering in prison for so long, rising up to become the first-elected President of S.A.) that his people would have freedom. In my view, it is the same with Jesus; through his acts, suffering, and rising, we know God. That he was here to prove to us that God exists, and now we know.
Hopefully I explained that well enough?
Angelika said,
Wrote on April 21, 2007 @ 1:50 pm
Great post!
When I’m participating in these carnivals and I happen across a “Christian” blog I sometimes feel like I shouldn’t comment there. Because if they visit my blog they might feel a need to flagellate themselves afterwards, LOL.
Dollymama said,
Wrote on April 22, 2007 @ 8:42 pm
I found your blog today via 5 Minutes for Mom. I am a Christian but I don’t make what I write directly all about my spiritual beliefs or whatever. I do hesitate to leave my blog link around in places where people seem to have a problem with any blog that doesn’t just ooze Bible verses and prayer requests. Any my blog design….not sure if that counts as “clothing like they wore in Bible times” or gross immodesty…
You have an interesting blog. I’ll be back.
Angela,Mother Crone said,
Wrote on April 23, 2007 @ 12:58 am
Your post is remarkable dear. I find it odd, that though we share very similar beliefs, I don’t feel that I am not Christian enough. I am proudly Unitarian, for the very reasons you share.
When I visit the over-the-top sort of blogs, I think “these women are scary.” Quiet, encouraging and supportive blos from religious folks are beautiful, but I have always felt that those screaming hell fire and brimstone all day long are just making so much noise so they do not have to look within themselves and face truth.
When I was younger I struggled with this, but now I am realizing that I was always comfortable with my personal religion, and never felt wanting. Blogging has brought me close with so many like minded homeschoolers. The only thing missing before was the freedom to express a different thought, and that is far more valuable than rubies.
Jenny said,
Wrote on April 26, 2007 @ 9:40 pm
I just have to say that I’ve read this entry and don’t really know what to write. But, I know there is something within me that needs to get out. These are my thoughts:
My blog may turn you off, I don’t know; but up front, I make no apologies for it. I don’t think I’ve talked hellfire and brimstone, but I do know that hellstone and brimstone have their place in the Christian religion.
Another thought is that God’s Truth is Truth, forever. No matter what man has said, or will say, or overturned. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. God told the husband to love his wife like Christ loved the church. Christ laid down His life for the church, so a husband should love his wife that much. Christ didn’t just say it; He DID it.
Man makes mistakes, only Jesus Christ was perfect. So, any priest, preacher, or whatever you want to call them is NOT our plumb line for life-Jesus Christ is.
I also don’t believe that the base of Christianity is “as long as you are causing no one harm, live your life to the fullest, thankful that God has given you this gift of life.” The base of Christianity is found in Mark 12:30-31 where Jesus says “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” I believe the two bases are different.
I also believe sin is the reason for all the evils in the world. Man makes choices. Sin entered the world. Bad things happen because men make bad choices and choose to do bad things.
I hope I’m not pushing you out. I just wanted to take you up on your offer and offer my thoughts.
I do have one lingering question. If people the VT shooter don’t live according to your base of all religions, but you don’t believe in a hell or devil, what happens to these people when they die? I don’t want to be confronting you, just wondering what you think.
And, I’m sorry for the people who would back off your porch and show a cross sign because you mentioned wiccan. If Christ said His disciples would be known by our love, we have done a disservice to His name.
Frankie said,
Wrote on April 26, 2007 @ 10:04 pm
I’d like to respond to one comment by Jenny.
Referring to the VT shooter: I don’t know what his faith was. However, I do know that he was mentally ill. That does NOT make him evil, that means he had a disorder in his brain. So, if he was a Christian (according to Christian belief) and he believed Jesus died for his sins, I don’t think that he would be turned away from heaven.
Just my two cents on that.
Carrie said,
Wrote on April 27, 2007 @ 1:13 am
Jenny,
You’re definitely not pushing me out with your thoughts. I appreciate them. Also, your blog definitely isn’t one of those “extreme” ones I was talking about. It’s on the other end; loving and gentle.
I honestly don’t see a difference between:
“as long as you are causing no one harm, live your life to the fullest, thankful that God has given you this gift of life.â€
and
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
What I said was just in reverse order of what you quoted. Being thankful that God has given you this gift of life is loving God. How could you be thankful to God if you didn’t love God?
And love they neighbor as you love yourself - unless someone was unstable, they wouldn’t do themselves harm. In any way - financially, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Not on purpose, at least. They might be climbing a tree at 26 years of age and accidentally fall 15′ out of it and bust their pelvic bone in two places and break their wrist… oh wait, that was me.
So treating others as you would treat yourself - that’s the same as do no harm. To me, it is. When it is said to do no harm, you can’t exclude yourself!
I too believe that God’s Truth is always Truth, that’s why it confuses me so when different religious leaders retract declarations or change entire precepts in their denomination’s belief system. Or how some Christians have different Books in their canon than other Christians - who is anyone to say that this Book or that Book aren’t what God intended for us to read? There’s no way to know.
I’ve seen people shrug this off with a smug “with God, all things are possible, if He wanted those books in there, they’d be in there”, but God also gave Man free will, and it was Men who chose what books to canonize. It was Men who chose to add more Books long after the “traditional” canon had been published and had become tradition. The Bible speaks openly of women as leaders and disciples, yet in 2000 the Southern Baptist Conference put down a ruling saying no more women as pastors, because (according to them) God wanted no women to rule over men.
It’s like… what are we supposed to believe? And in that, my only answer can be - believe what is in your heart. Believe what God makes you feel (or perhaps *how* God makes you feel). That’s not worded right, but it’s the closest I can get.
To answer your question about Hell, there are writers who can answer this question much better than I. (As you see, I tend to ramble on, lol.)
You’ll find your answer on this page, although you will have to highlight the text to read it. Her background image is no longer showing up (for me, anyway).
To everyone: thanks so much for your comments. Each time I clicked on an email notification with this post’s heading it was with some trepidation that I was going to be blasted, but instead I found truly thoughtful discussion.
Jenny said,
Wrote on April 29, 2007 @ 1:47 pm
I’ve been busy and not able to get back here until now….
Just wanted to say about Frankie’s comment, I agree with you. I stand corrected and needed that correction. I do agree that if the shooter was Christian, and had asked Jesus for forgiveness of sins, he would be welcomed into heaven. No sin is too great for Him to forgive. Perhaps I should have used Hitler since he was a self-proclaimed atheist, but I used the VT shooter because he was mentioned in the original post.
Carrie, I went to that page you mentioned. Interesting stuff. I think it’s fair to say that you and I see things differently as far as religions go, but that should not keep us from communicating.
Also, you are welcome at my blog anytime, and if you want to comment on something, you go right ahead!